preventative medicine

T-minus 13 days remaining. It's strange to still be here, to be experiencing things here even as I pack away my intentions and my focus and mail them to the other side of the globe in advance. 

One paper, one exam, Christmas and a day of traveling and suddenly, a new chapter will begin. I'm practically there, I'm practically home already. I'm practically a senior at Yale, nearly a graduate, I might as well be married with children or preparing for my own funeral.

It doesn't roll with quite so much momentum but it pops like bubbles with delineated borders, falls down stairs two at a time and rushes towards conclusions before a thesis is ever revealed.

I'm excited to know where I'll live, to know my new neighborhood and smell the waffles in 신촌역 again. I'm excited to get better at this language. I'm interested in being on television again, and growing in God with the people at Jubilee Church. 

I'm scared of missing this place, that my life will somehow be worse and that I'll wake up in the spring one morning, knowing that I belonged back here instead.

Can't focus on a thing, besides watching these minutes pass and staving off the inevitable absence that will follow in their wake.